Leap of faith… or desperation?

Of-late I have remained disturbed, disillusioned.

What is the point of so much success in business when its fruits (i.e. money) doesn’t give me a peaceful mind? What is the point of this inflated sense of pride (read. ego) when I can’t have a healthy relationship with my own family? What is the point of remaining so busy, when I can hardly make conversations with my “friends” beyond an occasional watsapp message?

 

As a matter of fact, I have come to the conclusion that every material achievement requires sacrifice. Be it your effort, time, ethics or anything else. Once you get there, you are engulfed by a sense of hollowness – because of the sacrifices you had to make.

Pandavas felt so too, when they realized that they had no family left, after the dreaded war of kurukshetra. How am I going to be any different? I have been so driven by such great ambition but even quarter-way-there, I can sense volatility within my own value system.

 

Is money in bank any different from money in stocks/ property/ cash in hand? A gold-bar is any different than jewellery made of gold? Isnt it about the value derived?

Then how is man different from one another? How is their spirit different from one another? And if they are not different (essentially like gold), then why so much variance?

 

I have come to the conclusion (almost) that I took course of atheism in life to escape from unbelievable content that religion provided. It got worse when I experienced its emptiness, its commercialization and its discourse!

But I conveniently ignored that just like few-bad-episodes-of-Delhi dont make me a rapist; few (okay much more than few!) wrong examples of religion doesnt dismiss the entire philosophy!

More importantly, my own disillusionment about things, about people, and about life in general has to count. If at 34 I am feeling discontented, maybe the method is to be blamed? Maybe atheism is not the answer. Maybe faith is the answer…

I dont know how next few days shape up, but I am feeling quite determined to give it a real heart-felt attempt at embracing krishna-consciousness as my religious calling. I am not so sure how/ when/ how long/ how much success at it as yet; but I am sure I was looking answers at the wrong places. Maybe the right path is that of belief & optimism.

 

 

 

My financial position on 30th November2017

Okay so I am going to do this every month-end, i.e., share my financial position. I am going to share my REAL numbers here, just to be honest, transparent and keep them measurable. I am hoping this activity helps myself and in the long-run, some of the readers too.

PS: These are my personal numbers. Please don’t judge them as too high/ unattainable OR too low (if you happen to be Mr. Ambani’s relative). My numbers are MY NUMBERS.

Here is a snapshot –

Liquid – ₹ 6 lac Investment- ₹ 8.08 cr
Bank1 ₹2.21 lac Mutual Funds ₹3.57 cr
Bank1 ₹22k Stocks ₹2.25 cr
Bank2 ₹1.07 lac Debt Funds ₹1.95 cr
cash ₹2.50 lac Others ₹28.5 lac

Target – 25 cr.

Timeframe – within next 6-years

 

(1) Liquid – Got to have some funds in Bank/ Cash at Home. So I don’t even look at this part

(2) Investments – This is a side hustle. Not even in my wildest of dreams am I hoping to achieve a 10-digit net-worth by working hard alone (I forgot to mention – I have a net worth target of 1 billion INR… it isn’t linked to a timeline though, it is more of a life target). So the investments have to grow @15% p.a. basis ALONGWITH new SIPs in mutual funds.

Currently the investments are skewed 80:20 in equity & debt, because of an ambitious 15% target growth. The idea is as the corpus grows to the tune of 25-cr, I will move around 10-cr in DEBT FUNDS and fund my lifestyle thereon purely on interest income. Cool (sounds) isn’t it?

********************************************************************************** Business – This is my main thing, my A-game. Have been doing business for last 11-years now but I’d say about 90% of my business corpus above happened in last 4-years. I am hoping to replicate this success for next 6-years too (fingers crossed). My target is to accumulate about 75% of my target net-worth from business, and then hang-up my boots!

Anyway the sad-part of MY business income is –

  • it is unstable, as with any small-scale business can be
  • it is all reinvested in the business itself and I can’t really claim to have this money in my account till I shut it down completely
  • it is like a treadmill, one must keep going faster & faster to gain any incremental benefit OR else it may all collapse

When my D-day comes (i.e. 100 cr net worth), I will be shutting down my business or pass on its mantle to someone else who has the desire; and invest all the money in financial products.

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Now in this blog, I CANNOT DISCUSS the business part. This being my first post is an exception!

Therefore all future blogposts along with the rest of this post is going to be about INVESTMENTS part of it. Every once in a while (a monthly review maybe), I will bring the topic of my business worth, just to calculate my overall NET-WORTH at that point of time.